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For those who are just starting to wander outside the borders of vanilla sex, recommend a “lite” version of the list.
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There are dozens of versions of the list on the internet, written by other sexologists, sex therapists, kink-aware professionals, and those in the BDSM lifestyle. You can build your own list, or use a pre-existing one (examples are linked below). It’s important to note that you and your clients are not limited by the items on the list-it’s merely a conversation starter and to prompt you with new ideas. The goal of the checklist is to open the lines of communication between partners. This activity also provides the perfect opportunity to bring up new kinks, fantasies, and activities that they’ve always been wanting to discuss, but never had the opportunity or courage to do so. It’s important to have them fill out the list without discussing it together to eliminate any perceived pressure from their partner(s) to answer in a specific way.
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All partners in the relationship should complete the checklist separately then come together to discuss their responses. and an area to mark a response of “yes,” “no,” or “maybe” to indicate your level of interest in said item. In essence, the yes, no, maybe checklist is a document that contains a list of sexual activities, positions, products, kinks, fetishes, etc. Where do they start? As a sexuality professional, what do you recommend? A fantastic way to start the conversation is by having them complete a “yes, no, maybe” checklist! * Sounding ::: The practice of inserting something into the urethra, predominately on male genitalia.A client comes to you-they’re looking to add some spice to their sex life. Also includes body-swapping and similar concepts. * Transformation ::: The fantasy or ritual about a character starting off as one person, but ending as another. * Futanari ::: The concept of fully female characters having, often engorged, male genitalia. * Necrophilia ::: The simulated concept of a deceased participant. * Ageplay ::: Acting much younger or older than your actual age to furfil a fantasy scenario. * Incest ::: The simulated fantasy of having relations with siblings, daughter/son to parent or similar structures. * Glory hole ::: The ritual of isolating a person from others, using holes in the wall as the only link between the two. * Magic wands ::: Much like vibrators, a magic wand delivers a strong vibration to a larger area with stronger force. * Vibrators ::: Phallic shaped devices with internal vibration. * Sensory deprivation ::: Covering both ears and eyes completely, often using noise-reduction tech to emphasise the feeling of isolation. A cage, full rope harness, ducttape, restricting the person to absolute minimal movement. * Encasement ::: Full encagement often means full movement restriction. * Stockades ::: Freestanding rigs that restricts the head, and often arms or legs too. * Cufflings ::: Wrapped around wrists and often ancles too, cufflings have little restrictions themselves, but using hooks and rope, they often makes it easier for the master to restrict the wearer spontaniously. Makes the wearer unable to grab or hold objects with their fingers. * Mitts ::: Cloth, leather or metal tools where you place your hands inside, often closed in a fist. * Leash ::: A leash is the rope between the wearer (often tied to a collar) and the master. * Gag ::: A rubber or plastic ornament placed in the mouth of the wearer, making them unable to speak. * Edging ::: The act of bringing the partner very close to orgasm, but giving the genitalia time to cool down, and then repeating the process. * Facials ::: The act of ejaculating directly on the face of the partner. * Handjobs / fingering ::: Stimulating the genitalia of the partner using mainly just hands. * Sleepover ::: Staying with your sexual partner overnight. * Using real names ::: Referring to the partner using real names, instead of pet or nicknames. * Spooning ::: Holding the partner close, often back to chest, and embracing them from behind. Hickies are listed under the light pain category.
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* Kissing (body) ::: Planting kisses on various bodyparts.